Friday First Kiss - Surprise

It's been an eternity since I did a Friday First Kiss. It was just a random coincidence that this little ficlet is ready for posting on a Friday. I hope you enjoy this little dose of sugar before your weekend.

Surprise

I shook my arm as the tingling numbness threatened to spread up towards my chest. I'd never been so nervous in my life. A year ago, I had been a nobody from a nowhere town. Somehow in the last year I had become a teen sensation. That'll happen when you get a recurring guest role on one of the most popular musical high school dramas on television.

But, that wasn't what was making me nervous. It was the boy behind the door I was staring at. It seemed like an innocuous door - standard issue hotel fare with a card swiper and the black painted number in the center of it. But behind that door was Sean. Sean, who I'd known since we'd shared a look and decided peeing in the sandbox in kindergarten was the way to go. Sean, who I'm pretty sure I'd been in love with for the past two years. Sean, who had flown to visit me while I was filming over his spring break. He'd been here for two days already and it was amazing. I hadn't realized how much I had truly missed him.

I squeezed my eyes shut, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door. It opened a mere seconds later – like he had been waiting next to the door. A smile spread across his face like the sun rising over the desert. My heart stuttered as I did my best to return his smile.

I must have done a pretty poor job of it because Sean's smile faltered. He reached a hand out to grab my shoulder and pull me into the room.

"Hey, Bri. What's wrong?"

I had decided honesty was the only way to go with this thing so I picked a spot on the wall and stared at it as I spoke. There was no way I was going to get through this while looking at him.

"Um, so, you know I have to do some filming tomorrow." I offered a small smile and darted my eyes to his face before focusing back on the wall over his shoulder. "You'll be happy to know that all the Stephton shippers will be happy. Stephanie and Barton are sharing their first kiss. But, um, I've never kissed anyone before." I paused.

Sean took that as an indication that I was done. "It's okay. I'm sure you'll do fine."

I shook my head. That wasn't really what I was here to say. It was just the background. "No. I'm not worried about that. I mean, I am, but that's not why I'm here."

Sean looked worried and stepped towards me. He was close enough that I couldn't keep eye contact with the wall anymore. I turned towards him and finally, really looked him in the eyes. They were fierce with something I'd never seen there before. His words were almost a whisper between us. "Then, why are you here?"

I couldn't look away. "I always wanted my first kiss to be special, with someone I cared about – not on television with a colleague."

"Yeah? Anyone in particular?" He leaned in closer and heat bloomed across my skin.

I let my forehead rest against his and threaded my fingers through his hair. It was now or never. "You, Sean. I've always wanted it to be you."

I'd barely finished speaking before he pressed his lips against mine. My chest tightened and goose bumps followed in the wake of his hands as he pulled me closer. I melted into him and he held me tight. It was perfect.

Sean eventually broke the kiss and just held me close. His whisper barely touched air as it traveled to my ear. "God, Brian. I've wanted to do that for so long."

I was stunned and all I could do was whisper back, "Me too."

Much too soon, Sean pulled away. All of the sudden, he looked nervous like he never had in the lead up to our kiss. He ran his hand through his already mussed hair and glanced towards his bag then back at me.

"I've got something of a surprise too." He smiled a bit sheepishly.

I watched curiously as he walked over to his bag, dug around a bit and finally pulled out an envelope. I could feel the nerves rolling off him as he walked over and handed it to me.

I opened it and looked at the paper it had contained.

Dear Mr. Sean Anskar,

We are pleased to accept you for admissions to the University of California, Los Angeles. You have been awarded a full academic scholarship…

I stopped reading as the paper fell from my hands. "But, Sean, you're going to UT. You've always been gonna go to UT – just like your Dad and your uncles and your grandpa."

"Yeah, but," he paused and shrugged his shoulders, "you're here. Even it was going to be just as friends, I couldn't bear the thought of being away from you four years. These past few months have been terrible. I've missed you like nothing else in my life. Besides, Dad kind of figured out that I was in love with you." Sean took a deep breath. "He asked me what you were worth to me and I said everything. So he said he would kick my ass if I didn't do something about. You just beat me to the punch by a bit."

My brain had stuck on the "Dad kind of figured out that I was in love with you" line and happiness burst in my chest like a cold water balloon on a hot day. My cheeks hurt from the smile I couldn't make leave my face.

I pulled him back into my arms. A laugh of pure joy bubbled up from my chest and made it hard to speak but managed, "I love you, too," before I kissed him again.

The Beginning.

Custom Written Ficbit - Happy Birthday to Me

During the Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia I offered up a custom written ficbit of at least 1500 words. KimberlyFDR is the lucky - at least I hope she feels lucky - blog reader who won that drawing. She requested a story about a male to female transgender person. This was a bit outside my comfort zone as I generally write male main characters. I hope you all enjoy my first story with female romantic leads!! Without further ado, I give you....

Happy Birthday to Me
by Kathleen Hayes

I walked quickly with my emotions tightly reigned in until I had safely shut my office door behind myself. Then I let out a string of curse words I rarely say since I work with kids. I shook myself. I didn’t know what was with me today. Usually I didn’t let snotty ignorant teenage comments get to me.

Granted, it was never fun to be called a ‘tranny bitch’ but I was usually better at letting it roll off my back. I could tell the new kid, Antonio, was going to be problem from minute he made an extremely loud rude noise when I introduced myself by saying, “Hello, my name is Sandra Meeker but I was born Jonathan Meeker.”

I liked to get that out of the way as soon as possible so the kids didn’t feel like things were being hidden from them. I was in charge of counseling at Lifeline Center – a community center for LGBTQ kids who had been thrown out or were having a tough time at home. It’s the kind of place I wish had existed 20 years ago when my parents threw me out at 17 because my Dad found me wearing my Mom’s clothes.

A light knock at the door startled me out of my fuming. I turned as the door began to open. Cristina’s red head slowly peeked around the edge of my cracked door. She was moving with exaggerated slowness and a ridiculous look on her face as she mimed checking to make sure the room was safe.

I motioned her in impatiently, “Get in here, Cris. I’m not going to bite.”

She laughed a bit as she stepped inside my office and shut the door. “I couldn’t be sure with the way you stormed out after that last Group Support Session.”

“Shit. I’ve heard worse a thousand different times. I don’t know why I let it get to me today.”

She reached around me and grabbed my phone off my desk. She shook it and gave me a pointed look as she said, “It couldn’t have anything to do with this, could it?”

I sighed. “Probably.”

I clicked open my texts and looked down my most recent text.

Have you seen the light yet? Have you washed off the filth of your choices and come clean? I regret giving birth to you for all the suffering you have caused this family.

I threw down the phone and bit out, “Happy Birthday to me.”

Cris gave me an apprising once over. “What you need is alcohol.”

“No. What I need is ice cream. You up for it?”

“Sounds good. I’ll meet you at your place in an hour.”

I watched as Cris left and wished, for about the thousandth time since I met her 3 years ago, that I had the courage to ask her out.

She’d worked as a chaplain at St. David’s Hospital for about ten years. We met when one of her patients – a homeless 17 year old suffering from exposure – had needed somewhere to stay. The social worker hadn’t been able to find a youth shelter to take a gay teen so Cris had gone digging. Since then, she started volunteering twice a week. It was really helpful to some of the kids to talk to a person of faith who didn’t condemn them to hell.

I shook myself and gathered my stuff to meet Cris at home. I stopped by the corner store to pick up three of my favorite pints, knowing Cris would do the same.

As I waited for Cris to knock on my door, I let myself savor the excitement and attraction I usually tried to push down. It had been a long day and I wanted to focus on someone nice. My cheeks flushed a bit in embarrassment at having a crush at my age. I had long ago given up on finding love and forced myself to settle for a fulfilling job and good friends. But the longing never really went away.

My heart jumped into my throat and, despite my horrible day, a smile spread across my face when I heard Cris’ knock at my door.

My smile turned into a grin to match Cris’ when I opened the door and saw her standing outside. She stood a little shorter than I was. Her dark hair was pulled up in a ponytail and her dark skin was smooth, almost glowing. Her brown eyes sparkled as she started singing “Happy Birthday” at the top of her lungs. She also held up her hands. One held a brightly colored gift bag and the other a grocery store sack.

Before she was able to get through the first verse, I slapped my hand over her mouth and dragged her inside.  “Shhh. You’ll disturb the neighbors,” I said over both our laughter. It was just what I needed after the text from my mother and the name calling during group.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she replied as she took the ice cream into the kitchen and put it in the freezer. “I have made the executive decision that presents come before ice cream tonight, or at least some do. She sketched a curtsey in the middle of my kitchen and held the gift bag out to me.

“For you, milady.”

I took the bag and began to open it but she stopped me before I even got the first piece of tissue paper off the top. “That is just the first part of the present. The second part is that I will use it with you.”

For a wild second my thoughts turned completely dirty but I reined them in because I knew Cris well enough that the chance of there being a sex toy in that bag was about a million to one.

“Okay,” I said drawing it out as I took the colored paper out of the top of the bag. The gift felt big and boxy but not all that heavy. As soon as I had cleared out enough paper to see what was in the bag I burst out laughing.

Cris crossed the room and took it out of the bag before I got a chance, excitement clear on her face. “I know how much you love trivia.”

“And I know how much you hate my trivia.” I grabbed the Trivial Pursuit board game out of her hands gloating gleefully, “And you already promised to play with me.”

I glanced away from the game and back up at Cris. I was shocked to meet an unwavering stare. Our eyes locked and there was nothing I could do to break the intense stare. I didn’t want to break it. My heart beat ratcheted up about four speeds and I felt hope furl out its wings in my chest.

Without breaking eye contact, I reached out to take her hand between our bodies, dropping the bag it still held on the way. It made a slight thunk noise as it hit the ground and still neither of us looked away. Her fingers curled tentatively around my own. At that sign of acquiescence, I found I couldn’t stop myself.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers. A mere chaste brushing and leaned back again. I had made that first move and it was up to her to accept or reject. She made a slight sound at the back of her throat and rushed forward. Her hands were in my hair, her body pressed against mine, her tongue opening my mouth before I had a chance to take a breath.

I dropped the game I was still holding in my other hand on the counter and wrapped my arms around Cris, bringing us as close together as I could. Joy and heat battled for supremacy as we made out like teenagers in my kitchen. My heart took wing and I opened myself to Cris like I had never opened myself to anyone.

Eventually, we broke apart. We stood there forehead to forehead smiling and breathing hard for a few moments before I huffed out a small laugh, “Happy Birthday to me.”

Cris smiled back, “Does that get me out of playing the game?”

I gave her a mischievous look.  “Nope. But I will make it more interesting. How about every time you get a question correct you get a kiss?”

She glared at me for a beat before she gave an exaggerated sigh and said, “Fine.”

We gathered the pints of ice cream from the freezer and set the game up in the living room. As Cris brought spoons in from the kitchen, I marveled that this beautiful, intelligent, wonderful woman had allowed me to kiss her and seemed interested in a relationship with me.

For the first time, I thought to myself, that maybe my mother was wrong. Maybe I actually deserved this because I was a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful woman as well.

After Cris sat down we didn’t spend much time playing the game as she had promised but that’s all right because I actually celebrated my birthday for the first time in 20 years.

The Beginning.

Update and Pretty Things

Hi All!
As may be apparent with my lack of a Friday First Kiss the last two weeks, my new school schedule is not conducive to getting a story out on Fridays. SOOOOOooooooo I am changing Friday First Kiss to SUNDAY SNOGS! Hopefully this will work better with my schedule and y'all can continue to enjoy kissy goodness. So check back tomorrow evening for some snogilicious fun! =)

And now, because I like pretty things, I will share these with you now!

Friday First Kiss - Peace Part 2

Today's First Kiss is by request from Courtney. She won the customized ficbit during the 12 Days of Christmas Extravaganza and requested a follow up on Robbie and Jared from Peace, including their first public kiss. So if you haven't read Peace, just click on the link above and read it before you read what comes next. =)


Peace, Part 2

Jared sighed as the hot water flowed over his scarred body. The steaming water flowed over his once perfect skin. But the entire right side of his torso was a tangled mess of burn scars ever since the explosion that got him sent home from Iraq. Sometimes it seemed that he was just a tangled mess all around. He jumped at the slightest noises, he woke up screaming more nights than not and, worst of all, no matter how many times he allowed Robbie to hold him during the night he couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge it during the light of day.

It had been three weeks since that first night. After the third time Robbie had to hold him on the couch for him to go back to sleep, Robbie had nonchalantly offered Jared his bed. That way they would at least both end up on the bed, not the couch when Jared woke up from one of his flashbacks.

When the water finally ran cold, Jared got out of the shower and toweled off. He turned toward the steam fogged mirror and for just a second, in the blurry reflection, it almost seemed like he was looking at himself again. Strong, brave, a soldier. With another deep sigh he reached forward and wiped the steam off the mirror and looked at himself through the streaks of water left behind. He wasn’t strong or brave and he definitely wasn’t a soldier anymore.

Sometimes it felt like his skin wasn’t thick enough to hold him together anymore. Instead of being made of being made of bone and muscle and sinew it felt like he was held together by twigs and tattered cloth. Like the smallest breeze would rip him to pieces. The only time he felt real and solid was when Robbie held him. Sometimes it seemed that if Robbie weren’t there to hold him to this earth he would just come apart, float away and not even exist anymore.

Friday First Kiss - Midnight Kiss

The Great Hall was decked out as beautifully as I had ever seen it. From my vantage point in one of the private balconies I watched over the hundreds of dancers in their New Years’ finery. Full skirts in every color of the rainbow whirled around as the ladies wove around and about each other. Their male counterparts were outfitted in every style of fashionable evening dress you could imagine as they danced the night away. Black jackets with tails, brocade waistcoats, each more intricate than the last, pristine white gloves, fitted trousers and polished boots, all glittering with falls of rubies, sapphires, emeralds, and diamonds.

From high above the crowds they appeared as dolls dancing for my amusement, the sound of their laughter drifting up like it came from a different place altogether. The light from a thousand candles in crystal chandeliers caused everything to glitter and glow. A world apart, an imagining from a story book.

It was stunning.

And lonely.

I was hiding out in my balcony. I could not bear the thought of watching Geraint kissing someone else after the midnight dance. Legend, and the mother’s of every marriageable young person, said that whoever you kiss at the New Years’ Ball of your eighteenth year will be the person you will wed. Legend can go to hell but kissing someone at that time was paramount to a proposal.

And Ger had been mooning about for weeks claiming he had someone to kiss this year. His eighteenth year. My heart already felt as broken as I could handle. A first hand view of whoever Ger was kissing would be too much.

Friday First Kiss - Sunshine

Have you ever watched a movie with a scene where the main character is standing still and it seems like the whole world is speeding around him like streaks of colorful light? Or maybe like life is passing him by filmed on a camera running 100 times faster than it should? He stares into the one spot of stillness with a dead look in his eyes; like he can’t believe this is his life.

I stared at the drink in my hand. I didn’t even remember what it was or how I had gotten it. I let my eyes be drawn back up to the dance floor. It was writhing with hundreds of men in various states of dress and intoxication. I could walk out there and slip in between two of them and then my evening would end just like every other evening of my life. Inside a stranger. Or, if I got drunk enough, maybe with a stranger inside me.

The colored lights flashing and swirling made me think of that movie scene as I stood there staring out at the meaningless chaos of my life. Work, eat, drink, fuck, sleep and then do it all over again. When I moved here that was the dream, to live on my own and have a different guy every night if I wanted it. Now, I was five years older and five years lonelier. I didn’t have a fag hag girlfriend or an uncharacteristically cool with it straight guy bestie or the circle of seemingly shallow twinks that you could always count on, that you hear about in the books or the movies.

It was me. And the lights streaming by at 100 miles per hour.

Until that night.

True Love's Kiss - Part 1

“Mils, why under the four heavens did you drag me on this insane quest of yours?” I complained as the first drops of rain soaked through my tunic.

“Because, Be, I need you to protect me from all the evil men in the capital whose only purpose in life is to deprive me of my virtue. And besides, you promised.” She replied in an overly syrupy voice.

I groaned to myself, decided discretion was the better part of valor, and kept my mouth shut. Ever since that bard had come through town, telling tales of our beloved cursed prince when she was eight years old, she had vowed that when she was old enough she would be the one to break the curse with true love’s kiss.

Stupidly, when she was twelve, I promised her that if she still wanted to go when she turned eighteen, I would take her to the capital for her chance.

***

“Name and purpose of visit.” The court secretary demanded.

“Milara Nalorna of Sasharin and Bierni Nalorna of Sasharin here to attempt to break the curse.” Mils announced boldly.

The pompous looking man in the official blue and silver livery of a high court functionary slowly ran his eyes up and down each of us and it was obvious from his expression that he believed such back country hicks should not be allowed in the same room as the prince. But the law said any citizen could make their vow and then be allowed an attempt.

Friday First Kiss - Something to be Thankful For

I ducked out of the General Store on Main Street before Old Man Peterson could snag me and force me to help unload “just this one box.” It was never one box. I glanced furtively over my shoulder to ensure I had made a clean escape before fleeing back to my house. This Thanksgiving was my first trip home since I had left for college. I’d been gone three months and absolutely nothing had changed. 

All of the sudden, I practically skidded to a stop, watching as a vision from some city-fied magazine stepped off the bus just a little ways down the road. His blond hair was a little wavy and shone brilliantly in the east Texas sunlight. His muscular shoulders were perfectly outlined in a lush green button down and one of those fancy vests. My eyes traveled down the man’s back and ate up his ass in dark grey slacks and matching shoes. He was so far from the boots, jeans and plaid shirts everyone else (including me) wore that it took me a second to tear my eyes away.

Then the mystery man grabbed his bag and turned around.

Friday First Kiss - Everything Changes

I reached out and pressed Jessie’s doorbell, trying to ignore the butterflies that were trying to stage a prison break in my stomach. He had never made me feel quite like this before. But, today at lunch, everything changed.

As I sat doing my best not to wonder what mystery meat my hotdog was made of, I jerked into awareness when I heard Nelson mention “that theater freak.” Now there are any number of theater kids at my school but only one rated that level of scorn in Nelson’s voice: Jessie.

“D’ya hear? That theater freak’s a fag.” Nelson told everyone at the table, with a sneer plastered on his face.

“Yah?” replied someone else at the table. Nelson responded by recounting how Jessie had told everyone during his speech on Gay rights during Public Speaking class that morning. But after I realized what he was saying was probably true and not just another way for Nelson to torment Jessie, everything went a little fuzzy. A rushing sound filled my ears and my vision tunneled. I think my heart even stopped beating for a second from pure unadulterated hope.

Then reality smacked back into place and I broke out in a sweat, fearing someone had noticed my reaction. No one at my table appeared to be paying attention to me. But as I looked up, I saw Jessie staring at me from one table over. Before I could react, he got up and stormed out of the cafeteria.

Friday First Kiss - Peace

Jumper patted the top pocket of his tactical vest as they were about to pull out. It was a like a prayer that he would get back alive. In it he had a picture of his family. Mom, dad, sister and best friend who was closer than a brother to him.

They were headed back from a simple recon mission and he was in the middle truck. It all happened so suddenly, there was hardly any time to think. The first thing he noticed was that it seemed like he couldn’t hear anymore. Then there was dirt and fire and metal flying at the front of his truck. Without thinking, he grabbed Hernandez’s vest by the neck as he started to stand up next to him.

They had to keep moving. If they were under attack, they had to keep moving. Push through the fire. That’s all he could think. The truck in front of him was gone. Blown to bits by the IED. That meant O’Shaugnessy would never get to see his kid before he was born and Hansen would never see his daughter graduate high school.

Jumper’s stunned thoughts were cut off as a wave of heat hit him. There must have been another explosion. He could tell he was on fire, but it was like he was watching it in a movie. There was no pain yet.  Just shock at the smell of burning flesh. He saw his hand still gripping Hernandez’s vest, but Hernandez was unrecognizably mangled. At that sight, it all wooshed back into focus; the pain and the fear were white hot in his mind and he passed out, clutching his hand to the top pocket of his tac vest.

“Jared, Jared…Wake UP!” He heard as someone shook his shoulders. Jared? No one had called him Jared since he’d left for Iraq. It was either Richardson or Jumper. “Jared…” He heard again, in a more insistent tone.

He opened his eyes, momentarily confused to be on the couch in his best friend’s apartment.

“Robbie?”

“Oh, thank God. You were screaming so loud. I thought you would never wake up,” Robbie breathed worriedly.

Before Jared knew what he was doing he was clutching Robbie to him and crying as if his soul had broken. Maybe it had. After a moment of hesitation, Robbie’s arms wrapped around Jared. Strong, solid, dependable. Jared cried until there were no tears left and all he felt was empty. And still Robbie held him.

Eventually, Robbie pulled back and looked him in the eye for a brief intense moment. Then he leaned forward and gently kissed the tears off each of Jared’s cheeks and pulled Jared more firmly back into his arms.

Jared thought he should feel awkward. They had never talked about his being gay. But he didn't. Then Robbie pulled him down on the couch and whispered, “sleep,” into his ear and, for the first time since he went to war, all he felt was peace.

The Beginning.

Give to the departed, especially those killed in war, eternal rest and let light perpetual shine upon them. Amen.

Friday First Kiss - Traveling Home

“Santi, you can’t really be leaving,” I begged him plaintively. “People die sneaking into America. Don’t you get that? You could die.”

He just looked at me with the weight of the world in his eyes and sighed sadly, “Javi, I can’t stay. I just can’t breathe here.”

I tried to ignore the pain gripping my chest as my best friend in the world told me about the coyote he had paid to get him across the border and the cousin he was going to stay with in San Antonio and how he would send me postcards. I tried not to be hurt that even though he knew I couldn’t go with him, he never asked. And I was still trying to pretend there was no hole in my chest as he walked into the night and out of my life.

Five Years Later

As the truck bounced over yet another rut in the rode I automatically tightened my arm around Marí’s shoulder and gripped the postcard in my hand like the lifeline it was. It was the last one I had received from Javi, almost two years ago, on my twenty first birthday. I prayed to God the address was still right.

Friday First Kiss - Perfect

This is dedicated to my friend Vic over at  the Goodreads  M/M Romance Group and the rest of you at the "The 'T' in LGBTQ" thread.

Perfect

I ran up the stairs because I knew Jesse would be waiting to start our weekly pizza and gossip night. We’d been doing it since we met first semester of college, back when I still went by Lisa. He’s the only friend who stuck by me through it all and we’ve never missed a Friday night. Even when he broke his leg and had to be rushed to the hospital I just went there.  It’s fitting that we would celebrate the end of the whole process together too.

As I burst through the front door of our shared apartment, I had a huge grin on my face. “It’s done!” I yelled, excited my final follow up appointment had gone well. “No complications, no infection, completely healed and clean bill of health!” My top surgery had been done years ago but I had just gotten my bottom surgery a little over a month ago.

He grabbed me into a hug and I could feel his grin on my cheek as he whispered, in a voice choked with emotion,“That’s awesome, Leo. Congratulations.”

When we separated we just stood there staring at each other grinning for a few moments. And then something shifted in his gaze and I don’t know how I knew, but I did. I only had a heart beat of warning before he had threaded his hands through my hair and pulled me in for a kiss.

For a second, I was so shocked I couldn’t even react and then Jesse just pulled away with a stricken look on his face.

“Shit. Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. But, god, I’ve wanted to that for ages. But then I wanted it to be perfect and for you to feel like you and…”

It looked like he was about to wind up for one of his stress rants so, without really thinking about much beyond this is Jesse and he wants to kiss me, I grabbed him and kissed him back. Reacting more quickly than I would have imagined possible, he slammed me into the wall with his body and devoured my mouth. His hands pulled my hips into his and then there was no more room for thought. Just for the feel of heat pooling in my groin, the frantic beat of joy through my heart and the way I finally fit effortlessly in myself and against him. It was perfect.

The Beginning.

A/N: An expanded version is available here.